cDc Text Filez

Cult of the Dead Cow. Enter the Realm.

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A small version of the logo you will be greeted by on the page.

The first bit of text to load when you click on the above site is the following message:

Warning:
"This site may contain explicit descriptions of, or may advocate one or more of the following: nudity, satanism, suicide, sodomy, incest, bestiality, sadomasochism, adultery, murder, morbid violence, bad grammar, or any deviate sexual conduct in a violent context, or the use of illegal drugs or alcohol. But then again, it may not. Who knows."

Shortcut to selected cDc texts
Shortcut to some personal mental musing

(09/27/1998 - yes, this page has been updated.)

For starters, I will answer the following question: What is cDc? First, cDc is not the Center for Disease Control. But good guess. cDc stands for the Cult of the Dead Cow. What exactly is the cult? I won't even try to explain, as I'm not really sure of the answer either. What I do know is that the cDc is the oldest surviving electronic magazine in existence. It has been responsible for a number of text files which can be all at once informative, entertaining, educational, disgusting, filthy, and downright disturbing. It is often a visit into a twisted realm of pseudo-reality where the real seems to clash with the unreal. Blah, ok, so maybe it's not quite like that. Just read and determine for yourself how you feel about any given text.

Perhaps those who think they know me may look at this and postulate that they have figured out why I am the way I am. They would be wrong, of course. Those that do know me know that this is merely an effect rather than a cause. For those who know, this should not come as a big surprise. Unlike nice little Timmy who is discovered in the closet torturing a small puppy with a scalpel and tabasco sauce, I have never had a need to keep hidden some of the skeletons. Of course, you don't just go around telling everyone you have skeletons, but most figure out some things on their own eventually. Or think that they have.

I like to believe (hell, I KNOW) that I am normal. Often I find myself musing or muttering about things which some people may have given a stray thought but don't dwell on the subject. This does not mean that I am crass or rude. I'm not going to stand in front of a strange crowd and recount my tale of "I thought it was a fart." Only those who can appreciate such a recollection would ask for such a story anyway. Just that maybe I give some subjects more cycles of neural activity than many people would find healthy. I'm perfectly healthy, damnit.

Selected Texts

The following links are to selected (duh) text files. More will be added as Time permits. They have been selected for several reasons:
1. They may have historical significance.
2. They are really raunchy/disgusting.
3. They are actually good reading and/or funny.

True to the original material, the text files are presented as exactly that; text files. No fancy "html"-ing has been done to alter the text in any way. If you don't like plain-jane old-school style, then maybe you're not ready. So buckle up and have a really neutral web page like disney.com loaded up in another browser window. You may need to make a quick panic change, lest someone walk in and suddenly think of you as a really sick individual. Or maybe you don't care. Whatever.

Added: 09/27/1998 - #062: Scotty's Tale of Sex and Death - by Racer X 07/05/1988
- Short, quick, and sick.
Added: 09/27/1998 - #230: The 2:00 O'Clock Bus - by Tequila Willy & Bambin the Usurper 01/01/1996
- When she bent over, Rover took over...
Added: 09/27/1998 - #301: Ugly Fucker - by Mark E. Dassad 01/01/1996
- Who says looks don't matter?
Added: 04/22/1998 - #110: The Flesh Man - by Richard Avis 06/26/1989
- A man who takes his business in the skin trade a bit too far. A true epic.
Added: 04/22/1998 - #246: The Monolith 12/30/1993
- All it takes is a greasy Jack-in-the-Box taco and a porky date.
Added: 04/22/1998 - #018: Bunny Lust - by Tippy Turtle ??/??/1987
- Whips and chains and Easter's favorite mascot. Oh the humanity.
Added: 04/22/1998 - #040: Sex with Satan - Psycoe 02/07/1988
- From Zero to Hero in the afterlife.

More Death and Debauchery to come...

Home Brew

Written by my hand and mine alone. Incredible stories of epic proportions. Yeah, right. Just read 'em. If you wish to submit stories of your own, send them to cDc and see if they accept 'em. Good luck.

Stringbean Porridge - 07/29/1997

See the cow, be the cow.